"Midnight Madness" at the Outlet Mall with Mom

As I’m sure you noticed, ShulmanSays was on vaycay for the Thanksgiving weekend.  Actually, I’d planned to keep on posting, but I didn’t have the right photo software on my laptop and couldn’t post any images.  I know, I know – excuses.  Deal with it!  Anyhow, I DID manage to get up to a little mischief while I was visiting family in the Palm Springs, CA area.  My mother and I hit the “Midnight Madness” sale at the Desert Hills Premium Outlets in Cabazon, and even by my standards as a long-time outlet shopper – those people were nuts!

The outlet mall in Cabazon is run by Chelsea Premium Outlets.   They also operate Woodbury Commons in New York (home to America’s only Chanel outlet) as well as the Las Vegas Premium Outlets, on South Grand Central Parkway in Downtown Las Vegas.

It's not quite "X" but it still marks the spot...

There are stores for everyone in Cabazon…  Me?  I always head to Bottega Veneta.  Shoes, bags, dog accessories and leather goods that make amazing gifts.  Ditto for Salvatore Ferragamo, Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, and Dior.  Sure, they all sell collection garments, as well – but the only clothes that fit me, these days, are scarves!  I did score a pair of jeans that fit over my fat ass at Energie (the men’s line from Miss Sixty – they employ a generous amount of spandex with their denim).   Sadly, I’m currently too plump to squeeze into anything at Giorgio Armani, Burberry, Loro Piana, Rock & Republic, Dolce & Gabbana, or Ermenegildo Zegna, while Judith Leiber’s not really my bag (Get it?  “My bag?”  Ha ha…); but I did make a major investment in cashmere at TSE (it’s been quite chilly here in Vegas, of late).  And really people, do you think that this season’s 10-ply cashmere zip-hoodie in black is in any way different from last season’s?  Because it’s not!  I guess that’s why men’s stuff is easier – because when it’s style vs. fashion, the basics stay the same.

People in line to get into Salvatore Ferragamo and Bottega Veneta at 1am

I did a little research, because the lines were so outrageous.  Standing for hours (some since that morning – in folding chairs with Hibachi grills – I kid you not!) were 1,100 people waiting to get into Gucci that night.  A similar line waited for Coach.  Mom and I didn’t wait for either.  I’m not sure what this says about the damage we do in our once-yearly pilgrimage, but the manager of Ferragamo recognized me as I walked by at 11pm as he was opening the doors, and pulled me into the store, allowing me to bypass the line!

My line-buddy at Bottega Veneta

After Ferragamo (where I not only found my Chanukah present FOR my Dad, but also my Chanukah present FROM my Dad – neat trick, huh?), I got in line for Bottega (I mean, it’s virtually next door and was supposed to open five minutes later).  Now, the Bottega outlet shopper is a subspecies of outlet shopper.  She or he is accustomed only to the best.  The average sale at the Bottega Veneta outlet that night was in the many thousands of dollars.  Let’s face it: it might be an outlet store, but when things are sale-priced at $2,500 for a computer bag, or $600 for a leather cuff – it’s not cheap, by any means.  That being said, it’s a customer who’s not accustomed to waiting.  Well, when the doors didn’t open at precisely midnight, as advertised, two things happened – (1) mass agita, and (2) a bizarre bonding amongst the people in line.  I liken it to a better-dressed version of the Star Wars fans waiting for tickets to the opening of Phantom Menace.  It turned-out that parking was so scarce the staff wasn’t able to find any, causing them to be late.  Really late.  So, at roughly 12:35pm, I was nominated to go, knock on the window, and inquire as to when they might be opening.  When I didn’t get a response, a little Asian woman dressed smartly in a nice suit and Bottega accessories (bag, shoes – the works) instructed me to move aside, and really let whale on the window.  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather from Kiki de Montparnasse!  Eventually, we got in, and being Bottega, they were very nice (albeit a bit frazzled), but we all got what we wanted.

One young lady, in line at Bottega, brought her poodle, Fifi. I brought my mother, Jan.

The smartest thing we did was hire a car and driver to avoid parking, and that could serve as a mobile rest-stop for us between stores.  We brought snacks from Fresh & Easy, and bottles of SmartWater, and while I waited in line at Tod’s (one of only two lines in which I waited), Mom took a little snooze in the comfy cocoon of the Town Car, then met me as I neared the door.  Hey!  What’s a gay son good for if not to hold his mother’s place in line at an outlet store hawking fine Italian handmade leather accessories at 4am?